Expectations crumble from Crumbl
MON.| 12-19-22 | ENTERTAINMENT
If I had to choose my most favorite dessert, it would have to be cookies. So, after seeing heated debates on social media about whether or not Crumbl Cookies is good, I had to try for myself. Of course, Greenville does not have its own Crumbl Cookies store, so I made the trip to Raleigh to give it a taste test. As I am a cookie fanatic, I visit Greenville’s Insomnia Cookies store frequently so I was holding Crumbl to some pretty high standards.
Before I tried the cookies, several things about Crumbl were very interesting to me. First, there are weekly flavors and only the chocolate chip cookie is available every week. This was both cool and annoying because, if you don’t like the featured flavors, there are no other options offered. I tried my cookies the week of Nov. 20-26, and the flavors were: Milk Chocolate Chip, Maple Cinnamon Roll, Pumpkin Pie, Salted Caramel Cheesecake, Confetti, Chocolate
Photo by Abby Ershadi
Sprinkle and the mystery flavor Cookies & Cream. I was excited to try several of these and had very high hopes, however they fell as flat as a souffle when air leaves the oven.
After a long day spent in Raleigh, I was looking forward to the warm welcoming box of cookies, but I was met with several bland, undercooked, overly sweet and disgusting cookies. The only cookie I even considered going back in for a second bite was the Maple Cinnamon Roll. At first this cookie tasted overly sweet, but once I was acclimated to its flavors, it was quite tasty with a glass of milk. The buttery dough complemented the sweet maple frosting and brown sugar toppings which swirled together excellently. However, not as many tasteful things can be said about the others, so prepare for the slander.
How hard is it to mess up a classic chocolate chip cookie? Apparently very easy for Crumbl Cookies. When taking a bite of this delicious looking treat, I was met with a severe undercooked dough and bland taste. I personally love gooey cookies but this cookie was simply undercooked, the cookies are too large to achieve the gooey status and they are just underbaked. This proved to be a large disappointment as chocolate chip is one of my favorite flavors. Immediately I compared this to Insomnia, as the chocolate chip cookies there are always warm, flavorful, gooey and properly baked. Next, I tried the Confetti cookie which tasted exactly like a store bought sugar cookie and was as hard as a brick. Once again, severe disappointment. Moving onto the Chocolate Sprinkle cookie; this cookie was so undercooked that it tasted like processed brownie batter. The sprinkles on top just added to the icky texture in my mouth and proceeded to ruin any flavor there could have been. At this point it was 1-3 and I was already underwhelmed.
Alas, I was committed to trying each cookie and moved on to the Salted Caramel Cheesecake. This cookie was intended to be chilled and literally was just a cold blob of dough with some artificial thick sugar on top. Extremely disgusting. First, the dough was so undercooked and looked like it had just been pulled out of a container. Second, the “caramel” topping was so nasty. It was way too sweet and so thick that it was hard to chew. The frosting topping added nothing and was just plain gross. This tied with the Pumpkin Pie for lowest on the charts. In fact, the Pumpkin Pie was a traumatic experience. I looked at this cookie and saw a runny filling. Immediately, I was throwing up in my mouth. Cookies should not be watery. I took a miniscule bite and had to fight the urge to upchuck. Sweet Potato baby food is the perfect way to describe this cookie. It was so disgusting and I would never recommend this to anyone. After all these disappointments, what was even left? The Cookies & Cream. This cookie was not entirely bad, just a bit too sweet. However, oreo lovers should definitely check it out.
All in all, Insomnia continues to reign high. After this waste of $45 dollars, I am grateful that Crumbl Cookies is not located in Greenville. From the flimsy box, to the unreasonable prices, to the disgusting cookies, in my eyes Crumbl Cookies have become the burnt leftovers that are thrown into the trash and never looked at again.